Eat your heart out, roller-coaster junkies! If you want real thrills, try a ride in a stunt plane. I did. Not for the faint of heart, by any means.

After being warned to take a motion-sickness pill (and forgetting that little bit of advice completely), I headed for the Warren-Sugarbush Airport for the ride of a lifetime with Jim Parker.

Jim is an internationally-known stunt pilot, the organizer (as well as one of the performers) of the Burlington Charity Air Show that was held at the Burlington International Airport last September.

Before we took off, Jim did his safety checks and then announced that I would be wearing a parachute, "Now let's put it on." It looked like half-size camping mattress with a huge square "ring" handle partially imbedded in the left front webbing, and lots of straps.

"If we have trouble, I'll flip open the window. You crawl over me and out. Understand?" We adjusted the buckles until Jim was satisfied. "Then, as soon as you're clear of the plane pull hard on the ring until it is fully out at arm's length. You'll be ripping clips all along the back of the parachute and unless you pull it all out, it won't open properly. It'll pop open in about two seconds."

"What about you?"

"I stay with the plane." He grinned. I thought I'd rather take my chances with Jim and the plane if there was any trouble. But, he was the boss.

I clambered into the narrow cockpit, over his seat into mine. He helped me with the seatbelts (over each leg and across the chest) and adjusted them. Thinking I was real clever, I left my camera strap under the chest belt, not wanting to lose my new camera. I neglected to lengthen the strap. When I pulled it up to take a picture, I nearly strangled myself. Minor details. Next was the headset, otherwise, neither of us would be able hear over the engine and wind whistling around us as we careened through the skies.

In the red, white and blue Bellanca Super Decathlon, we taxied down the undulating airstrip, suddenly bouncing up. Airborne.

The Valley was so green, farms and houses dotted the landscape like quilt ties. The East Warren Road rushed under us at 140 mph. (Can't get away with that in my car. I'd get nabbed for sure.) We climbed higher as we must be at least 1,500 feet above the ground before performing stunts.

Jim turned around, "You ready? This is a barrel-roll."

The plane spun around clock-wise, the horizon did a 360. We were pinned to our seats. Aside from the centrifical force, I felt like we had stood still, while the world went crazy.

Flying straight again, Jim peered over his shoulder, "Like that? Want to do another? How's your stomach?"

My mike didn't always work when I wanted it to, but I did get out, "Sure, I'm game!" He turned back to the controls. Crackling over the mike came, "This is an inside loop."

Immediately, the plane soared up and backwards executing a perfect circle. I'd been on wild roller-coasters before lurching about, but this was downright thrilling. "That was two-and-one-half G's. How're you doing? Want to do more?"

"Oh, I'm fine. Sure!" I burbled through the staticky mike. That was my voice? Maybe I did get affected by this flipping around. No time to think of this now. This was fun.

"Now, we'll do a hammerhead turn. Hold on!" Jim pulled back the stick and we headed straight up — and up — and up. Until the propeller couldn't grab any more air. In slow motion the plane turned on its side until it faced the earth, and dropped like a boulder. Wheeeee! The ground rushed at us. Those trees were getting mighty big! Just for fun, Jim threw in a snap roll before he pulled out of the dive. I breathed again.

"That was three G's. How're you doing?" He turned in his seat to observe his victim. "Ready for another?" I shot his picture. I wanted this to be the cover shot. Heck, he even posed for a flash version. Jim's a ham.

"I think I can handle another. Sure, why not?" I mustn't have looked too green to him yet or he wouldn't have asked.

"Now, we'll do inverted flight. That's flying upside down. Pull your straps tighter, that's all that's holding you in." I complied. Who was I to argue? There wasn't much to hold onto anyway. It was all I could do to clutch my camera steady and shoot pictures. Gravity or centrifical force kept trying to snatch it away from me.

Wow! Where's the earth? Above you stupid. Fantastic. If it weren't for the pressure from the straps holding me in, we could be just. . . flying. Wispy clouds floated "below" us, pale blue sky where the mountains should be. There weren't any landmarks upside down. I looked through the roof. Waitsfield still looked like Waitsfield.

Blood rushed to my head. Wasn't this good for you? And as quickly, snap, we were right-side up again.

Jim turned around to check on me. "You okay?" He studied me a moment. I hadn't answered yet. "I think you've had enough for this ride." Perhaps he was right.

I didn't see my family cheering on the deck as we circled my house for photos before heading back to the airport. Doesn't everyone want a picture of their home from the air? I certainly did.

Would I go again? Just invite me!

If you want to see Jim Parker perform these stunts and plenty of others, including his unique ribbon-cutting ceremony — inverted, of course — attend one of his many airshows.

And for your own good, take motion-sickness pills first!